One year later

[Look at me all decked out in my graduatin' gear!]

So it took me awhile to realize that I graduated exactly one year ago today. Whoa. How does a year fly by so fast?? I just creeped my own photos from that last semester at Millikin and I remember it all like it just happened. I remember moving into the house I shared with four of my Delta sisters, performing in the my last opera,  my senior recital.... how is that all gone? And how has a year passed since all of that? It's kinda crazy. Sometimes I feel like I haven't really done anything. I haven't applied to graduate school. I haven't found my "dream job" (whatever that is). Then again, if I had got the job I was going to have for the rest of my life already, I'd probably go crazy. That's not really my style. I plan on having many many different jobs in my life, especially considering my dream job involves years and years of training and practice and honing a skill, one which I will never quite fully master because there is always something to improve upon and learn. I kinda like it better that way, though. And I guess when I really think about it, it's not like I haven't done anything. So what if my life after graduation isn't what we all think it's going to be like when we're growing up? (Y'know, like back in elementary school where you played pretend and you were always that awesome, elusive age of, like, 17, and you were going to be married with kids by 30 and find a job right out of college and have a house and a car and a dog and all that good stuff. Yeah, what the hell was I thinking?)

Funny how our expectations aren't really met, but then again, what did I know when I was 8? Nothing. And I still really feel like I don't know anything about life now. What I do know is that I'm ok with taking things slow, and I'm ok with taking awhile to "figure things out." Funny, even though I'm "just figuring things out right now" I still have managed to get hired at a job selling clothes that I actually really enjoy and that turend into a management position and great experience for the future. I got to sing at Carnegie Hall with my beloved University Choir. I took the next step in my relationship with Nick and we moved into a great little apartment together. I pay all my own bills and still manage to have a lot of fun and enjoy a lot even though we make nothing compared to most people. I'm also having a great time planning my wedding which is only 7 months away.

I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. We may still live in Decatur and kinda feel like losers every once in awhile, but this is just one phase of our life. Next year will start the "graduate school phase" and we'll move to another city. After that, we'll be on to the next, and I love (and also kinda hate a little bit) the not-knowing part. It's exciting. If I had the rest of my life planned out I'd be a little depressed! I need be ever-searching for that next thing, I need things to change every once in awhile. I never want to be too comfortable. I guess that's the life of a musician. Even if I didn't fully pursue music, I think I would still feel that way....

I am proud of the things I've done and happy about what I've experienced in the last year. I know that I have done something, and I know that I am constantly on the path to the life that I'm supposed to lead, even if I wasn't expecting a certain detour now and then.